As my daughter babbles and rolls around playfully on the floor, husband naps on the couch, and dog lies at my feet, I sit here pondering my life before motherhood. It was a good life then too. I spent my days working, hanging out with friends and family, occasionally taking road trips, shopping, eating/drinking at different restaurants, and enjoying coffee dates with close friends. I still love doing all of the above.
When babe made her entrance into the world, I did not fully comprehend how life would change. Did I foresee having less spare time? Yes. Did I hear about sleep deprivation? Of course. But it was subtle things I did not hear much about that I once took for granted. I now appreciate the opportunity to have a warm meal (even luke warm is sufficient), and if I can have both hands free to eat it, then that’s a bonus. As for preparing for the day ahead, I now plan to have an extra shirt set aside in the morning because I have learned that hastily cleaning up spit-up with a wet cloth while I’m trying to run out of the house just doesn’t take the odor out! In the early mommy days, when babe clung to me like a leach, sneaking away for a warm shower was a luxury as well; but now that she is growing and exploring, she’s able to entertain herself for longer periods.
In return for the quick showers, cold meals, and soiled shirts, I have gained much more. Violet brings such joy to my life…hearing high pitched squeals of delight when our dog licks her face….the deep belly laughs when I tickle her tummy…how she looks around for me when she hears my voice…how she stares up at the blowing leaves above her while we are taking a walk…how she insists on holding the spoon when being fed (stubborn like her Daddy)…
One of my ex boyfriends (and perhaps this is why he is an ex), once told me, “You live in a really small world.” To him, my dream of having a comfortable home with husband and kids sounded boring and cliché. While he envisioned his filled with worldly travels or diligently trying to find a cure for AIDs, I envisioned mine being in a place filled with peace and comfort…a happy healthy baby to nurture and to watch grow and learn…a sensitive husband whose values matched my own…faith, family, and love. So perhaps I do live “in a small world,” but this tiny little world I live in is pretty great; because after all, it’s jammed packed with people I adore.