Dear Violet On Your First Birthday

Dear Violet,

Today you turn one year old. It feels like just yesterday I was lying awake next to your Dad on a Sunday evening saying, “I think this is it, Jordan.” Little did I know, you would be stubborn and take over 30 hours to arrive. You do have your dad’s stubbornness sometimes. Let me tell you—it was worth the wait, the anxiety and fear, and the physical pain. You are my everything.

In the last year, you have taught me more than you’ll ever know…patience, love, understanding…but I’ve learned that nothing has the capability of slowing a person down but also goes so fast like motherhood. As a friend told me, “the days go slowly, and the months fly by.”

I fondly remember giving you your first bath in our bathroom sink. You were just 7 pounds—skin so soft and gentle with a tiny amount of white fine hair on the top of your little head. You enjoyed the warmth of the water but strongly disliked the cool air when getting dressed. You never hesitate to tell us how you’re feeling. You are already emotional and expressive like your parents.

I remember the precious time I spent with you in your first eight weeks of life. It was the middle of a surprisingly mild winter, and we spent a good portion of our days nursing and cuddling. I told people because God gave me a long, tough labor, he compensated me by making you a great little eater. It was instinctual for you—I actually wondered if you’d ever want to be detached from the breast! I remember doing everything with you in my arms. You have allowed your mom to fine-tune the multi-tasking skills—everything I did, I did with you in my arms, cooking, eating, talking on the phone, typing, posting photos of you online…you name it. We thoroughly enjoyed our time together. It was difficult going back to work, but a dear friend said something to me that made me feel so much better. She said, “but she’s yours forever.”  She is right. You are mine forever.

Throughout the year, I’ve been so thrilled to witness your “firsts” and take countless photos of the cute things you’ve done.  You’ve inspired me in insurmountable ways. I want to be a better person because you are in my life. I hope to demonstrate what goodness really is. You deserve only the best.

I become nostalgic when I think of the past year now gone—your co-sleeper bassinet now tucked away in the nursery…the lavender body wash…the little swing that played lullabies…the green Soothie pacifiers…the purple velvet sleeper embroidered with “Violet” from Grandma Pam…the thin hospital receiving blanket that swaddled you so tightly. These things bring me back to your newborn days when you had much less hair, less (no) teeth, and were not nearly as mobile! You’ve grown so beautifully.

While I do reminisce about those newborn days that seem like just yesterday, I also daydream about your future and what type of person you will become. Will you be athletic like your Dad, or studious and book smart like your mom? Will you be outgoing or reserved? Will you be an adventurous risk-taker or a pensive, introverted thinker? Regardless of who you become, I promise to love you unconditionally. When you make mistakes, I will guide and teach you .When you feel alone, I will be with you. When others treat you poorly, I will defend and protect you. When you are hurting, I will comfort you. I will love you forever. 

So today I honor you, my sweet baby girl. You are one year old. Although I frequently attempt to express in words how much you’ve enriched my life already, the joy is just indescribable. I am incredibly blessed to be your mother. I love you so much.

Love,

Mom

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