Resolve to Be Unresolved

It is the day. It is the one day which rolls around annually and inspires others to define a resolution. A resolution that will enable them to do something better…to be better. It is a fresh start. A reset button in our lives. Perhaps the goal is to work out X amount of days per week. Eat 5 fruits and vegetables a day. Drink 8 glasses of water. Cultivate gratitude. Smile more. Sleep 8 hours a night. Journal nightly. Save X amount of dollars per month. The list is endless. 

For the next few months, the health club memberships will be increasing exponentially. The gyms will be jam packed over lunch hours and during the after work rush. There will be more smiling faces and chipper attitudes, people pushing through disgruntled attitudes and hard days– “I will be happy, dang it. I will count my blessings.” 

But here’s the thing. After a few brief months of strict attention to these “new” objectives, they once again become tired and frustrated. Upon March, people might be extremely disappointed with themselves that they once again have an unresolved resolution hanging over their heads and weighing on their hearts. 

What if people resolved to be unresolved? Let’s just say we could accept that our lives have many reset buttons and fresh starts instead of that one single day that comes around every 365 days. What if we allowed ourselves to have numerous chances instead of one per year? Would it be OK to be more gentle with ourselves and realize that we are incredibly human and complex– that indulging in pizza and beer one night on March 2nd did not screw our last 8 weeks up but instead allowed us to be perfectly imperfect? 

What if we were OK with being less than perfect whatever day of the year it was? Do you think we would be happier in general? We are constantly evolving, so isn’t it fair to have countless fresh starts? 

Although I have many numerous resolutions myself in the past years, I have come to realize that it is extremely limiting and somewhat cliché. I risk sounding lazy, unambitious, or even “above” resolutions by saying this, but can’t self improvement be a constant process that does not just come around once a year? I am fully aware this is my idealistic self talking. Something much more profound tends to be evolving discoveries, consistent learning and growing that is more fluid– the moments in the next year that are not so much facts (numbers on a scale or dollar signs in the bank), but more “aha moments” that really shape who we are. Yes– one year, I weighed less than I do now. But I’ve gained much more than weight over the years. In that sense, wisdom, strength, and true personal growth are created in the unresolved. To “resolve” is to “to settle or find a solution, decide firmly on a course of action, or firm determination to do something.” Maybe it is essential to resolve to do X, Y, or Z, but perhaps we can allow ourselves to step outside the yearly resolution box and allow self improvement to be a more fluid process. This year, I resolve to be unresolved– to allow myself to have many reset opportunities and embrace not only 2nd chances, but third, forth, and maybe even fifth…all in 2014.  

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